The Language of Love
Jinxi & Steve: Circa 1989"Tell me who admires and loves you, and I will tell you who you are." - Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve
Yesterday was a long, yet productive day. I was out at Mike DeVries' shop in Northridge, getting a start to a beautiful new ink piece and doing lots of work on a new book project/collaboration that we have going. It was a really fun, yet tiring day and I consciously thought to myself while driving on the freeway back from the San Fernando Valley, that I just couldn't wait to get home and see my family. When I walked in, I was suddenly reminded of just why I was so anxious to be there.
I came into the kitchen to find Steve mopping the kitchen floor. Not only that, he had all of the invoices sent for my business that had accumulated during the time I was gone, and my dinner waiting; along with a big smile. This, after his own 10-hour day managing the nine pool supply stores that he runs here in Southern California. We are both busy people. We work hard at our jobs, and at keeping our family happy and running smoothly, so it is suffice to say that sometimes, we just slip into "routine" when it comes to reminders of appreciativeness. I know that I am guilty at times of forgetting to vocally express my gratefulness and love for the incredible person that I am lucky enough to walk through life with. So I suppose that this blog is meant to do just that.
Steve and I were really young when we got married in December of 1991. He was 19 and I was 21. I know given the statistics of marriage success (especially among those who enter into it at such an age), that the odds of making it work are not exactly idealistic. We have always considered the age factor so irrelevant though, and more that we just got the benefit of sharing THAT much more of life together as partners.
Steve has always transformed complacent times in my life into self-asserting, positive ones. He gives me strength to be honest in the way I live my life and has always been my biggest cheerleader. Because we were so young when we met, we have learned so much about the stepping stones of life together. We have taken risks and learned consequences together. We have learned about the world and developed ideologies along the way together. We have given each other courage to pursue our dreams and in the midst of that, realized how simple finding true happiness really is. Though we are certainly individuals, we have both always held our sense of unison as a critical factor in how (and why) we succeed.
I think that it's important to constantly be cognizant of the reasons you love someone. Complacency can be dangerous and life is just too short to not truly adore the people around you. I can honestly say that I fall in love with Steve constantly. As we progress and grow, I find new reasons to "fall" for him and sometimes those reasons are as uncomplicated as seeing him mopping the floor at the end of a long day because he knows that it will make me smile. As silly as those times may seem, they really are the building blocks for the perpetual love that I have for him. He makes our huge accumulation of moments become beautiful memories. Sometimes, when I sit back and remind myself of them it puts my focus and enthusiasm for what lies ahead back in check.
I frequently find myself agreeing with the courageous and beautiful words of Emma Goldman. This entry of hers is no exception and the words ring so true in what I am trying to express in regards to my appreciation today:
"Man has bought brains, but all the millions in the world have failed to buy love. Man has subdued bodies, but all the power on earth has been unable to subdue love. Man has conquered whole nations, but all his armies could not conquer love. Man has chained and fettered the spirit, but he has been utterly helpless before love. High on a throne, with all the splendor and pomp his gold can command, man is yet poor and desolate, if love passes him by. And if it stays, the poorest hovel is radiant with warmth, with life and color. Thus love has the magic power to make of a beggar a king. Yes, love is free; it can dwell in no other atmosphere."
In this respect, I thank Steve for making my life royal beyond words (and for mopping the kitchen floor).
Monday, July 20, 2009 at 9:20AM
Reader Comments (9)
Thank you for reminding me that true love and happiness can coexist. Showing me as years pass by it is truly the small things (that seem so big to us) that hold so much together. It is in those things someone does just to make you happy, smile, less stressed that show just how much they love you. I'm thankful you have that, you give that and have someone who adores you and whom you adore.
Beautiful
awww jinxi how wonderful and beautiful!! :D you are so awesome jinxi!!
awwwww. this has got to be the most awesome thing i have ever read.
:D
im glad you and Steve are in a such a great relationship!
That is so sweet! It brought tears to my eyes.
You two make such a special couple. Thanks for sharing this!
I agree with all of the comments, so rad!
Cheers to Steve and Jinxi and their wonderful story!
Beautifully written! I have watched your love grow from those days when you were both at Penguin's, and it has been a special experience to see both of you so happy with each other and with your children. I know you have made many sacrifices to make your home so happy, and it shows with all five of you! You are all so lucky to be in such an amazing family, and I know it takes the five of you to make it that amazing family!
beautifully written......i know that i haven't seen you guys in a long time, but when i think about you both i must say that the beauty, love and hard work put into your relationship is not missed by anyone that encounters you both.
Jinxi dear, thank you for sharing your story. I think it would be great if you posted about how the two of you have managed to remain in love all these years. Share your wisdom! How do you keep the flame! Hee!
Congratulations on your ever evolving love. What a wonderful gift you give each other!
Awww.... You guys are both so very fortunate. The best part, the most important part, is that you both realize it so fully and deeply.
I have always thought that Love should be the simplest, easiest, most uncomplicated thing in the world. I still scratch my head at how difficult and overly complicated it almost always seems to be.
This is a beautiful story Jinxi.
Thank you for sharing it.
-Shay