Monday
Sep212009
Tattoo Prejudice: How Do You Deal With It?
Photo by she's a renegadeToday's Tattoo Corner topic deals with tattoo prejudice. Carrie asks:
Q) Being a tattooed mom, do you ever experience prejudice from other parents or from your childrens' friends? If so, how do you deal with that?
You can read my answer here.
Most likely, if you wear ink on your skin, you have experienced discrimination of some type. Though tattoos are becoming more acceptable and more mainstream, there will always be those who view them as abnormal.
How do you deal with gasps, stares and prejudice?
Please share your stories below.
Monday, September 21, 2009 at 9:26AM
Reader Comments (13)
Being tattooed in general whether being a parent or not has obvious challenges. I have learned to ignore the negativity. I realize that the world is always going to find something wrong with you in some form or another based on what they see and think. However, many many years ago, my mother told me never to have children because they would be ashamed to have a mother like me based on my appearance. That they would be ridiculed by their peers. Of all the hurt I have endured in my life, those words were the hardest and most painful to hear. My mother is conservative and being from another country has a huge factor. We are lucky in living in the US because even though we deal with non-open-minded people, most in general are very accepting. It took my mom 10 years to come to terms with how I look. She saw herself as a mother who failed because her daughter was tattooed and that for me was hard. But I live my life. I am a good human being. If I decide to have a child one day, I know I would be a great mother, even better than my own because I understand choice.
I get a lot of looks being a pierced and tattooed mommy. Best thing to do is just smile and assume that it's just being curious . Whenever the " why'd you do that?" type things come up I answer honestly. even with the disgusted type looks I still just smile knowing the way I chose to look doesn't interfere with my mom abilities :).
i have been called an idiot and one step above being a criminal for having tattoos and piercings. i have been signed into a category of no-good junkies who will never find a job because they were dumb enough to get visible tattoos. i have been judged and heard some really harsh words that sometimes really get to me... however, i have not changed my mind about having tattoos. they are art that you get to wear on your skin! how cool is that? i moved to the United States from Russia 3 years ago and since then i got lot of tattoos and i was really anxious my parents wouldn't understand me... but they did. and they support me and i really appreciate that, this has helped me a lot and made me understand more about them and myself as well.
Every time i hear a nasty comment from a tattoo hater, i think "I am better than this and i am better than you because not only do i get to look the way i want, i also get to do tattoos for a living, and that's what i love to do. i have the best job in the world".
to all tattooed people and especially tattooed moms out there... you are unique and beautiful and don't let anyone tell you different. most of those people who tell you how ugly tattoos are deep down want to get one anyway but never will because of their insecurities. you got the balls to do what you want, and that alone should make you smile:)
I am a tattooed father of two young boys, my oldest is in first grade. Every time I go to a school event, I see the looks of disgust from the other parents, and sometimes feel ashamed. My sons are cool with my appearance, in fact, they allways want to see Daddy's new tattoos and get temps of there own. I know that these other parents cant see who I really am, but they see enough to judge me and my sons. Sometimes I feel like covering up. More accepted or not, the world is still full of predjudice. Wow,... I think I was just ranting right there. Sorry
I am not a tattooed mommy. I am a tattooed nanny, which in some situations I feel like that is harder. I have been with the same family for 3 years and only had a few tattoos when I started working for this family. Over the years it has turned into11 total including a half sleeve on my left arm. I also have my ears gauged at a 1/2 inch, my nostril, monroe and septum pierced. The parents are very accepting and cool with my body mod choices. They don't believe in sheltering their children from self expression. On the other hand, it is really hard picking up 5 year old Anna from Kindergarten and 3 year old Grayson from his Catholic Pre-School without horrid looks. I've even heard a parent or two ask, "Why and the hell would they hire HER to watch their children?? Obviously she rebels and makes bad decisions. She shouldnt be allowed to show that to the children and think that her lifestyle is ok" It just really hurts my feelings sometimes, but I walk around with my head up and you better be damn sure that int he summer I wear plenty of tank tops out in public so people see who I am.
I have seen many different ways that people have responded to me and my ink.
I am 30 years old, 7 of those married to my first and only wife. I have two children (6 and 4) who are both autistic. I am a business owner, and a volunteer at local schools. I support any charity possibly can. I have never been in trouble with the law, and pay my taxes. The only drugs I use are caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. And, I have over 160 hours of tattoos, including 6 1/2 hours on the right side of my face. My ears are gaged to 1", and my next major venture be bisecting my tongue.
I am a tattoo artist in a small and conservative town. I am one of 5 people with a full on facial tattoo in the area, and 3 of us are tattoo artists. For the first little while after I got my face tattooed, I would watch for peoples reaction, just to watch how they reacted. Anymore, I rarely notice anyone react either positive or negative in a way.
Anymore, I find it kind of fun to venture out of our little area, and find somewhere new to just walk about. Watching. I have seen many responses. From people curious and interested in the art, to people walking across the street to get away from me, to locking their cars as I walk up the street. I have even witnessed a priest stop half way through the street, cross himself, and walk away as I came out of a gas station. The teachers at the schools that my kids attend hate it when I come in because it disrupts all the classes I walk by for a good half hour. But, this will be the same kids I will see in a couple of years volunteering at the schools with art/health/history classes.
The best way to respond to people judging you is to just act as though you didn't have the tattoos/piercings. I say hi to everyone I can. I hold doors for women and elderly people. I help and show respect as much as I possibly can, and don't do anything outside of the normal. I show them who I am by example. If they insist on judging me without knowing who I am, then it is their loss. If you can show that you are a better person, then you have done your job.
Being a mother of three young children, I notice the prejudice everyday. Not only from the other parents at my children's school, but anywhere I go. The grocery store, restaurants, my place of employment, you name it.
Some people are just admiring my work and that I enjoy, but then you have the folks who look at you then nudge the person sitting next to them who then slowly turns their head to see what's on display. Or the other parents at my children's school. Seems like during the winter when i'm all bundled up and not displaying my art, they treat me completely different then if it were a spring or summer day and I was dressed lightly.
It almost sickens me to know that people think that way. Only because I know they'll end up passing some of that on to their own children and the vicious judgmental cycle will begin all over again.
I try to teach my children to be open minded about people and the way they choose to express themselves. I just hope they can pass it on to the people around them.
I love this :) I remember taking a ballroom dancing class several years ago that was held at a church because there wasn't a space for it at the college it was through. The pastor of the church was chatting me up about joining them for sunday services sometime when he saw some tatts on my feet. He paused and then told me about a 'poor girl' with tattoos that the congregation helped pay for laser removal. He tried to segway into the idea that perhaps someday they could help me get rid of mine. I just looked at him and replied, "why on earth would I ever consider removing them?" I don't remember what he said, if anything.
An inspiration does not fully explain how I felt when I read your blog! You are so sweet and pure!! Jinxi you are amazing!! Hope you and fam are having a wonderful day..xoxo jules
You truly are a wonderful inspiration :) I don't have as much beautiful ink as you but I've always tried to deter the stereotypes of tattooed people at every opportunity. Your blog made me smile knowing that there are more people out there doing the same.
Hi Jinxi! I think the only outwardly negative thing I've experienced is when Maya's best friend's mother snidely told the friend that "Maya's mom" will one day regret all the tattoo work, when I'm old. Maya asked me if I thought that was true and I said, "I think tattooed old ladies are cool." Maya did too, so that's all that matters.
Nice discussions!
xoxo!
i get these reactions quite often. i would say i have more than 75 hours worth of tattoos, i'm 26 years old, and i work in an office enviroment. i'm very good at hiding my tattoos in order to make the amount of money yearly that i'm comfortable with - some are visible at work, most are not. lots of long sleeves and full length pants...
when i'm in public, i love to be able to wear...what i don't wear at work. i call them my "play clothes". however, it's difficult to do that because i live in a small area - although diverse - there is a certain thing about people who just can't STOP staring. it's just so rude. i'm guilty too - there might be a person wearing a neon green jumpsuit in public and i'm going to take a good look to keep that in my memory, you know? but it's the staring, abrupt encounters along with grabbing my arms to see closer at my tattoos, rubbing parts of my skin as if it might have a texture...it gets unreal. sometimes it hurts my feelings, but most of the time i try to just gently pull away and let the person politely know that i have personal space too...or "take a picture, it'll last longer.", i prefer being humorous if i can, but it's getting harder to do that. i think it really depends on my mood, but i did once snap at someone for grabbing my arm like a piece of meat so they could look at part of my art.
here's what i try to remember, my friend sent me this quote a long time ago:
"I have always believed that when people are so dense they cannot understand the inappropriate nature of their own behavior, the victim of their insensitivity must adopt a direct response." - Dear Margo
i should clarify one of my sentences, sorry - it's not necessarily that i have to cover my tattoos at work, it was a personal choice in order to attain a mainstream professional "look". sorry for the confusion.