Why Money Won't Buy You Happiness: What Really Makes Life Rich

Friday

Jan082010

I was talking with a friend recently about life and the many different detours and paths it seems to take. The discussion turned to money and we both realized that as we grow older the almighty dollar becomes less significant in terms of measuring contentment and happiness.

Now don't get me wrong, I know that money is essential to survive in society. We must make enough of our share to live and to be healthy; however, it is the excessive pursuit of more and more monetary gain that sometimes gets in the way of the most simple of enjoyments.

I spent much of my young adult years on the quest for financial gain, so I get how it can encompass a lot of where one's focus lies. Even now, I struggle with balancing in the pursuit of my career happiness. I love to write and I squeeze every spare minute I've got into doing more of it; but years ago I settled myself into a career that thankfully paid the bills and still seems to work well to this day, so leaving the security of that behind to plunge into the deep end of dreams is still scary.

As I attempt to find that equilibrium, one thing that has definitely changed is my attitude towards money. I now see so clearly that beyond making enough of it for food, clothing, shelter and a few small extras, the quest for more greenbacks is trivial compared to time spent with my loved ones, laughing, playing, exercising, reading, learning, and making memories.

Basically, the things that don't cost a dime, but are waiting there for us all to realize and enjoy, can sometimes be the most rich indulgences that life has to offer.

Some ideas I try to remind myself of include:

If life were to end tomorrow, would it really matter how much money was in my bank account or would I spend every moment with the people I love? Of course, the dollars and cents would be of no consequence.

What can I buy with money that will make me happy? Nothing of the material sense really brings satisfaction simply by owning it, if I am not happy to begin with.

It has been demonstrated time and time again that lottery winners who were unhappy before winning are still unhappy after becoming rich; while those who were content before winning are able to go on to continue in satisfaction after hitting the jackpot. Lesson being, you are what you are with or without money, so working on finding inner peace will probably do you much more good than striking it rich.

Sociologists and archaeologists have found that when identifying some of the most "happy" societies in the world, that many of the poorest groups of people appear to be the most content. Once basic essentials are met (food, shelter, water, companionship), they seem to find joy in the most simple of lifestyles. Greed, waste, hoarding, and dishonesty are also rarely seen in these communities.

Taking responsibility for my own happiness shifts my priorities. I realize that it is up to me to find fulfillment and contentment and almost always, this is found in a much more meaningful place than my wallet.

Learning to not dwell on the Only If Idea opens up doors in all directions. "Someday" will never come if I limit myself to waiting for the only ifs to roll in.

Do I really care what my neighbor owns or buys? Do I really have the same needs or values? It's a natural feeling to compare ourselves with others, but beneath it all, who really cares how much someone else accumulates? Live for yourself and don't get suckered into "Keeping up with the Joneses."

I know that everyone is different and that some (or none) of these principles will work for you. We all have the capacity to choose our own paths and find what is best for our lives. So if your vision is totally contrary, then devise your own list and your own strategy. Happiness is only in the eye of each beholder, right?

In my case though, I feel fortunate to have figured out what works best for me; and that seems to lead to the concept of simplicity:

Surrounding myself with people I love
Enjoying activities that usually don't cost anything other than the effort it takes to begin them
Learning all I can about everything I can
Taking the pressures of life in stride
Realizing that less really is more

Sure, I still have grapple with the necessity of earning a living, but it isn't my focus any longer. And that little notion feels really good to have understood. Money by itself is a medium which is neutral and doesn't know right from wrong. It's what the owner of it does with it that matters. Dwell on it too much and it might consume a lot more than your time and peace of mind.

At the end of your life, what will matter most?
Where did the true value of your happiness lie?
Ask yourself these questions often and then start living your answers.

Photo by opinionatedvamp

Friday, January 8, 2010 at 9:13AM | |

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Reader Comments (10)

Perfectly said, kid.
You really get what life is all about Jinxi.
Kudos.

January 8, 2010 |

Rob

Totally agree. I've made a goal for myself to not buy a single thing this month other than food, and without having thoughts of material gain in my mind I feel so much more at peace.

January 8, 2010 |

Jay Prince

This is great, Jinxi! I have also been thinking a lot lately about money. I have become conscious of not the amount of money I'm spending, but where I choose to spend that money. If something that I need is expensive for a logical and sound reason, I'll spend it. If the organic vegetable is more expensive than the conventionally grown, I'll buy the organic vegetable. It's been a liberating experience. It really takes the stress of money off your shoulders. I wonder if that makes sense..

January 9, 2010 |

see!!! some people get it! it's the weird things in life for me that really make me smile..or as they say..the little things. XD like having fun and act. hitting your head off of a cabnit while it's open. LMAO!! yea...thats me. thanks Jinxi! now..lets keep being happy!

January 10, 2010 |

Tab

i thought it would be great to win the lottery so i could buy all kinds of art i love and be able to surround myself with beauty. then i realized all the beautiful things i truely love are free, birds that come to my house and sing, a lil cricket that sits on my fence and plays beautiful music for me, the skunk that visited me all spring & summer every time i went out on the deck but never sprayed me & became my lil buddy, watching all my different flowers grow and bloom each spring....so money pays the bills and provides neccesities to survive but it really can't buy happiness....that comes from the heart.

January 10, 2010 |

tammi

I really like this blog post, it has some great info. Thank you and keep up good work.trading for a living

February 18, 2010 |

trading for living

This is Great!

February 18, 2010 |

RENEE * CandyStickLane

If you want to know what an unbalanced pursuit of money can lead to, you should do some research on John Angus Cameron aka "Cariboo Cameron", I think you will find his experience sobering.

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