Don't Let Society Dictate: Find Happiness By Focusing on the Process, Not the Outcome
I watched this excellent video (below) the other day featuring Srikumar Rao speaking about what one must do in order to be happy. He talks about how our entire lives are spent learning to be unhappy, by buying into a mental model that says: "We have to get something; so we can do something; so we can be something."
But this If-Then model is ultimately flawed, because we spend so much time changing our "if" in the equation, which invariably leads to disappointment and frustration; instead of leading us to the happiness we seek.
Rao explains that the instant we accept life as it is and ourselves as we are, instead of constantly thinking "if this happened...then I would be happy," the world as we see it will change. Instead of spending all of our time trying to make things different, if we just learned to accept and build upon who we are, we might then find the right direction of contentment.
He goes on to say that, "Actions are within our control, but the outcome is completely outside of our control," so it would be better to stop investing so much into the outcome of things and instead invest in (and enjoy) the process. Because passion exists inside of you and finding a "way to ignite it" will cause the world to accommodate the new person you are becoming without dwelling on disappointments and things you might construe as failures.
If you have 17 minutes, I highly recommend this inspiring video. It is such an affirmation that happiness and "success" (whatever that is for each of us) should NOT be dictated by society; nor should the false models and ideologies that are forced upon us every day. We need to learn to throw those expectations out the window and find our OWN paths that individually work and bring us happiness.
No two minds, hearts, or people are the same; so why should societal pressures and cookie cutter ideas be the correct roads to travel? Take your OWN journey. Find your OWN path. Make your OWN happiness. It's all within your power and the choice is yours. Enjoy!
Friday, March 19, 2010 at 9:50AM
Reader Comments (9)
Very true. I once read a Chinese saying that i will never forget. You can't silence a waterfall by complaining that it is loud.
Which means accept the things you cannot change. Very similar to what you wrote.
Truth to live by! Love it! :)
This was such a well-written and informative post! Thank you for sharing. I have a lot to think about now.
i wish i could have come to this realization when i was younger but ya know what i can't look back nor do i want to anymore. i'm becoming such a happy person just being grateful for even the smallest thing like a lil cricket making his music for me on my fence, being kind to others and true to myself. i am who i am and it may have taken 40 yrs to figure it out but i love me & wouldn't change a thing or ever let society conform me to it's idea of norm. i know i have no control over the what happens so i'm just enjoying the ride.
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